Thursday 19 May 2016

Journal.



Today I am torn by what I want to do and who I want to become in my life. My anxiety and depression are making it almost impossible to focus on anything that isn't my own self loathing. I had no idea that I was going to be writing this post, but yet here I am.  I realised that all of the photo's of me on here are older, so I thought I would include one that I took on Monday :) Keep reading to find out about my broken toe, and my new additions to the family!

In an attempt to stay sane I am doing my very best not to think about the future, nor the past. I am trying to live for the moment and remember that nothing happens that I cannot fix. 
I have bright pink hair and facial piercings because this is who I want to be. I enjoy them, and no - they do not hurt. I enjoy when people stop me in the street to compliment my hair, or simply just stare at me. I like when I turn heads. 

Right now I am wallowing in self pity as I sit in my house with a stomach bug and a broken toe. You will come to understand that I am one of the single most clumsy people EVER. It is known that I have previously fallen over my own feet and broken my foot. 
This time however, I was rushing around Tesco to grab dog food on my way to picking my boyfriend up, and I stubbed my right pinkie toe on the wheel of the trolley. Yep - ouch. I broke the nail in half, there was blood everywhere, and three days later im still finding it swollen and hard to walk on. And so here I lay, on my sofa with my foot elevated and my toe splinted to his little buddy next to him so he doesnt wander off and get into more trouble. Can you guess how many times I have banged it again just because it's sore? No, I can't count either. 
I have been thinking about what I am doing with my nails, which in the last year has not been an awful lot. I was wearing acrylics for a while when I first moved down to england because they are so readily available, and it is a nice treat having someone else do your nails. But I did find that everyone was right in saying they thin your natural nail plate and make everything to do with nails just that little more awkward. I have only just managed to grow the ridges out of them from rubbish work from last august!
So they are nubbins right now, teeny tiny little nubbins. But I am using my strengthener and cuticle oil daily, so we shall see where they are in a few weeks. 

For the mean time, meet the boys! The one with the white band is called Moppsy and the pure brown is called Floppsy. My daughter named them, aren't they adorable?! They're brothers, and they are around 12 weeks old, roughly. Unfortunately they have been fighting a little, and Moppsy has a large wound on his ear, but it has healed up and they havent been fighting since, BUT any more of that and I will be separating them and they can only hang out when I'm there to split it up. They have been warned. Although I know if they were to keep fighting then separating them would be for the best, I would feel kinda bad about it to begin with, because they cuddle, alot. I still can't get over just how well behaved they are out of the hutch too, theyre cuddly and easy to handle, to the point that even my three year old daughter has had a go!

I guess that is all I have for now, im off to watch some movies and write some corresponding reviews about them, take a long hot bath and get an early night. I do have a scheduled rant going live at 7pm! 

Do you have any pets? If so leave a comment and I will always reply, i'd love to hear about them!



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